Achilles and Troy

Well, Jeramy was completely shocked when he saw the seven pound puppy in my arms. I can’t believe my brother went out and bought one the very same hour. This breed is amazing. They have to be some of the cutest puppies I have ever seen. I have always liked boxers- So when I saw the add at the vet, I decided to call and ask for a little more information. The price wasn’t too bad for everything the puppies have had done to them (shots, dewormed twice, tails cropped, nails trimmed, and, of course, they are registered). Although Jeramy loved it, I believe his mom isn’t too thrilled about the whole puppy thing- at all. But I did take the time to call her in advance and ask her to call me back if there was any problem. She never called…

I feel really bad about going ahead with the puppy thing. Maybe I should have just stuck to school clothes and shoes like I had originally intended. Every time I try to do something really awesome it always backfires.

Sunday Morning

I am searching for a reason to go back to sleep, but this is something I have found to be impossible after I am officially awake. Jeramy left this morning for church, and I regret I didn’t go with him. I haven’t been able to sleep in since a few days before school started, which still isn’t a great excuse to miss church. But then again, I haven’t slept good at all for a couple weeks now. I would love to be able to sleep without looking at the clock every two hours.
Meredith threatened to dislike me forever if I didn’t attend her picture veiwing yesterday morning at 8. After I returned home from that, no one was here and I spent my whole day alone…

Today I plan to be out with my family for the majority of my day. Jeramy will be at Maryville College again so I will not get to see him much today, which is something I am going to have to start getting used to.

Monday is school. And it is Kassidy’s eighteenth birthday.

Friend of Wolves

Interning at Seymour Veterinary Clinic is amazing. If anyone ever gets the chance to take Career Internship with Mr. Ailey, he or she should in a heart beat. A plus side to the class- Everyone gets to leave. It’s basically Another Co-op class except the fact that you work for free…

First day at the clinic:
I walk in and get a quick tour from one of the women working there. I didn’t think I would get to do much it being my first day there. Then I was brought to the operation room. A cat was having minor surgery and I had the privilege to observe their work. I was surprised to see Dr. Jones handing me the stethoscope. I helped monitor the cat’s heart. Very cool.
Second day:
I get to observe Dr. Christian give a few vaccines… to two Timberland Wolf hybrids. These animals were both over 100 lbs. each. They were amazingly goofy dogs. Not many people can say they got to play with a couple of wolves at work, but atleast I can. Now- I am looking forward to purchasing my own wolf hybrid… Very cool pups.
I don’t work there again until monday. And I am kind of looking forward to it. School itself isn’t that great, but atleast my classes are not that stressful. Unfortunately, next semester is the complete opposite.

The bad part about the whole school starting back up thing: I don’t see Jeramy very often… at all.

August 22, 2005

First day of school. How exciting… It seems as though last school year never ended. But I still can’t believe this is my last year there. It doesn’t seem like it will turn out to be too stressful after all.

Happy Birthday, Jimmy and Sarah.

The Greatest Feeling

Never work for Dollywood. They just might lose your check or just never give you one…

I finally cleaned out my closet. It desperately needed the help. I am excited about where most of the stuff I have grown out of is going. My mother started to cry the other day when she was telling me about a woman she works with at my dad’s shop. Amanda is the woman’s name and she has two children- four yrs. old (the boy) and six (the girl). Her husband left her in January. He literally just left- He went to work one morning for work and never came back. She realizes now that it isn’t her, but it is him. She is worried about her little girl starting the first grade. Sometime last week, a little girl her daughter went to daycare/preschool with had said something to her that upset Amanda. The girl said to her daughter, “We are starting school soon. You should get new clothes because yours are ugly.” The girl went home and told her mother. Then she asked, “Mommy, can we go to Walmart and get me something pretty?” Then, of course, my mother couldn’t tell me any more of the story because she was still crying…
Back to my closet. I found stuffed animals, a lamp, cute pillows, and a backpack for her daughter. After I received my check today (from Nike- not Dollywood), I looked around the store and found a pair of shoes in her size for school. I am excited to hear her reaction to everything. My brother is also purchasing Amanda something: a $50 gift certificate to Walmart so she can finish her school shopping. I feel great, and I am pretty certain Amanda will, too.

Colorless Night

I am becoming familiar with the colors of friendly shadows making their way into my dreams. My mind only exists long enough to hear the constant screaming of my heart, which fears nothing more than the loneliness it finds in silence. I feel as though the abandoned moments I keep hidden beneath my skin are slipping from my grasp and falling from my eyes as lost memories. But… Darkness has become a shade closer to the colorless night I remember most.

The night my heart cried out for You.

Wake-up Call

Yesterday was really busy compared to most of my other days right before school starts. Once my dad woke me up, we headed toward West Knoxville so I could make my hair appointment. My dad paid a couple of bills along the way so it made the drive seem like it had no end. Fortuntely, my hair turned out the way I had hoped. Now I can’t dread Meredith’s senior pictures as much. Who would have thought she would want me in one of her pictures. My hair stylist was hilarious, by the way. He, obviously a homosexual, went from talking about Backstreet Boys to school to how he disliked my brother for how thin he was to Backstreet Boys again.

Today has already started to irritate me. I hate to be woke up early unless it is for work or for school. When the phone rang this morning before eight, the person on the other end hung up before I even had the chance to say anything. Irritated and tired, I called the person back. The person, of course, was the man who was coming to fix my windshield this morning calling to confirm his timing. He could probably tell I was frustrated, but I am not a morning person- well, atleast not a talking morning person. Now I am waiting for him to arrive so I can go lie back down and not sleep. I can never go back to sleep after I stand up. It is a curse.

The Line

I ended up in the halls of my wonderful high school for about two and a half hours today. The line to change schedules didn’t look too bad… until I stood in it for about an hour or more. Then I decided that it was deceiving. The worse part about the whole trip: my ride leaving me there to fend for myself. I guess they completely forgot I rode with them, and after they discovered I was taking a little longer than they expected, they headed off. I have some of the greatest friends anyone could ask for.
I hope this experience is not a preview of my senior year…

I still find myself unable to believe the death of Lance Pate. The strangest thing: Talking to someone one day and hearing about their death the next. I had yet to cry about the whole situation, which I found to be a little off for me- Until my friends had me talking about it today when we were trying to pass time while standing in the longest-shortest line (Great friends- Let me tell you). I was explaining how great of a guy Lance was, and then I suddenly went from laughing to covering my face and holding back tears. This was the first moment it hit me, but it still seems so unreal. I hate hearing of people dying so young, but then again- I hate hearing about death at all. I know there is a purpose- I am just unable to see it.
Jeramy and I have decided to attend the prefuneral/receiving friends and family tomorrow evening. I don’t do good at these kind of things…

Since Last Sunday

Can’t believe I have received my schedule for school already. I can’t believe what some of my classes are either… I really hate school. I thought all of my friends decided to stay the full year, but I thought wrong. I talked to a few of them early this evening… and they are all graduating early. I remember when I wanted to do the same- and it suddenly hit me that I didn’t want to rush to get out of Seymour and go straight to Walters State… I thought that would be pretty pointless, but I guess my friends think it is the greatest news they have heard about their future since last Sunday. No offense to anyone attending Walters State soon. I just feel as though I will be heading in a completely opposite direction than that of a community college.

Tomorrow: work. Next week: no work. Me: Happy.

Left Waiting

School is starting so soon. I can’t believe it. I don’t even remember a summer… What I do remember I wish I couldn’t- work hasn’t been a walk in the park. If I didn’t stress so easily it probably would have been that much better. I hate that I am a perfectionist, but if I weren’t- I know my art wouldn’t have had so much time put into it and my school work wouldn’t have either.
Iv’e started a new art project lately. I finally got around to buying canvas, which is really hard to find around here and is somewhat expensive Luckily, it was on sale- so I bought brushes and new paints as well. Hopefully it will turn out like I see it in my mind- if not, no big deal.

I really need to get started on my summer reading. Maybe if I started on it earlier- it wouldn’t be so hard on me now. I have no idea why I do such little things that make my life that much more complicated.Simplicity does not exist here.

I talked to Ayla for a while yesterday night when she had stopped by to show me her new car, and I talked to her earlier this morning before she began her day. Her car is amazing. For some reason- she always ends up with these great looking cars. Gets bored with one, and she trades it in for another, I guess. Why can’t I do this?
I thought we had plans together today, but apparently I was mistaking. So… I ended up sitting around all day waiting for something that never happened. I guess I will go to the mall some other time… with someone who actually wants to go to the mall, which is really hard to find sometimes.