I do not know why I am so frustrated. I have so much anger trapped inside, and I have no idea how to get rid of it other than expressing it.

I don’t want to be angry anymore.

And I don’t know what to do about you.

Better Than Me

I told myself I wouldn’t miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I’m lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would’ve said it’s over
And I can’t pretend that I won’t think about you when I’m older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can’t be the end

-Hinder

Wondering…

What part is awkward?

Work and Prayers

Work seemed longer than usual tonight. The last hour felt like three. I met someone new today. I figured I would finally try to be social with a few girls… So, one girl had asked me before my shift was over if I’d like to share something to eat with her (Considering the meal was $13 and we get half off… and then split it- I only paid $3.) They were very nice, and they are trying to convince me to serve. They both had seen the schedule. There are way too many greeters. All the greeters are getting on average three days a week or less. That is not the kind of money I was looking for when I accepted the job. I mean, I love having summer days off. I can go to the lake, lay out in the sun, do absolutely nothing… It is all wonderful. But I really need the money. I plan on buying another car this fall and I cannot do that with $13 in tips…
I might consider serving after all.
By the way, I am praying for a lot of people tonight: Dean- he had a rough day at work. he was food poisoned last night, and he is gay, which means he gets a lot of crap from our guests. Ex. $2 tip on a $45 check. Sarah- a crazy lady, but she asked if I would pray for her as she tries to quit her 50 year old habbit- smoking. Amanda- on her quest to obtain a medical degree and join a missionary. And others at work who have issues they know they should deal with instead of burrying them.

Lake tomorrow? The weekend is pretty much free for anything. I hope the weather is nice.

And pray for me. I am dealing with personal conflicts. I guess I have really been thinking about not being worthy enough- for God. I need to change some things now. And I can’t keep putting it off just because I know God will forgive me…

Yesterday, Today, and Tonight

Yesterday was terrible. First contributor: the lack of sleep from spending the night at a cabin. I think it added up to about three hours including the nap I took after getting home. Second: a nice guy frustrated by PayPal who takes it out on me sort of…

Today is looking good. Lake today? I had a wonderful time last time I went despite the bruises. I love the waverunner. I’ll probably be on that for the majority of the day. Sun bathing. Sunscreen… Cook-out? Attempt wakeboarding? It all sounds good to me.

Later this evening: An “open house” (considering they technically don’t do those down south) slash grill-out slash getting to know one another slash introducing families. Heh. It’ll be nice, I think.

Then church tomorrow morning. I WILL wake up in time for service.