Then David said to God, “I have sinned greatly by doing this. Now, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.” -1 Chr 21:8
Asking for forgiveness isn’t a hard thing for me, but admitting I was foolish and trying not to use my beliefs as a crutch knowing God will forgive me… is. It’s hard not repeating the same mistakes over and over knowing how they will affect me later, knowing how much it hurts. Especially when trying to be the Christian we say we are and not creating any sort of hypocrisy. I’m working on it harder than ever. I must. If I want God to continue working through me, I have to. I have no other choice.
The world is a crazy thing. When the world tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another… Makes it hard to choose. When I am alone, everything is so clear to me. What I believe, my goals, my morals, where I stand on certain issues… and then when it comes down to it, suddenly I’m the odd man out. I can’t say that I care all that much what other people think of me, but everyone wants others to think well of them at least. And that gets rough when people think they have to act differently around you because they fear you’ll think differently of them because you choose not to drink or party, not to curse, or not to get involved with social groups who only talk about sex or drugs… When really, as a Christian, it’s a priority not to judge? I just don’t know…
Thought I’d share… maybe someone knows how I feel.
