So, I was informed recently that I never write in this anymore… and that I should because I am bound to always have an audience. I’m not so sure if I agree with the second part of the statement as much as I do the first half- for it is the most obvious.
Probably the number one reason why I have not felt the urge to update on anything on my life as of late: Because I honestly have no idea how I necessarily feel about anything. Actually, that’s a lie. I do know how I feel about almost everything occurring/has occurred in life the last passed year or so. The problem I am having is converging my multiple stand points on everything into one single idea/position- to at least where I don’t sound completely hypocritical.
I’m celebrating my 21st birthday tomorrow evening-technically today considering the time- and I’m pretty excited about it. Of course, I celebrated it earlier this week… if you consider being locked in Johnson City and not being able to see much of my family while conintuing to go to class all day much of a celebration. Anyway, the parties tomorrow, and for some reason I am kind of surprised by the people who are attending. Well, not surprised, but for a lack of a better word for the time being it will have to do. Is it weird that I am more comfortable with Brenna’s side of the family than my own? I know that’s a weird statement, but it’s the truth all the same. My family has never really acted much like a family… My immediate family IS a family… but that family is sort of antisocial toward the rest of the family? If that makes any sense whatsoever. Regardless, I kind of like my family like that, and I would never change the fact. Like I was saying, Most of Brenna’s family will be there… considering they’ve been family for over four years, but so will some of my other family (the ones we are antisocial toward) which is weird… so weird. Almost, too weird, but just almost. So, it’s almost as if I’m introducing my new family to my old. Kind of funny to think about, I think. I guess my point- sort of- in this entire ramble is basically how fast life changes… especially in one year. Friends, ideas, and opportunities have all changed, and I think they are for the better. I know I’m happier… even though I had to go through a lot to get here- basically all of it being things people don’t necessarily like and/or agree with.
I don’t really know where I am going with this, but I will say that I still think a lot… and I’ve decided that it plagues me. After all these years, I’ve finally come to that conclusion.
Other than that, Love Jesus your Savior. Read The Inheritance Trilogy, The Shack, and Redeeming Love. And believe in something that is true to you and no one else- if you decided to tell them, of course.
-Cierra Nicole
Thorta du ilumëo!
