Primary Concerns

A good word to describe how I have been feeling lately: Content. You know, I don’t want to be just “content” anymore. So, I was thinking today (And in all honestly I have been thinking about this for a while, but especially for the last past week.) “What is my purpose?” Sigh. No one can answer this- at least not anyone walking on this earth. A good word to describe how I am feeling this very moment: Pretty pumped (and that’s two words, excuse me). I just had one of the most uplifting Bible studies I have ever had- besides maybe the “hit-you-in-the-side-of-the-head-with-the-Bible” ones you get from going to church camp. But I have decided that the best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.

No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in Heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. - Mark 13:32

Why do we spend so much time anticipating Jesus’ return when we should be focusing on fulfilling our missions before that day arrives? My purposes as a Christian: to love Him, to be a part of His family, to become like Him, to serve Him, and to tell others about Him. My purpose as an individual? Well, that I do not know. But I cannot wait to find out! As of now, I am praying that God’s sends me anyone and everyone my way just so I can introduce them to the man who has given me everything I could ever want or need- the Lord Jesus Christ! I pray he sends me football stadiums filled with people who have not yet met their Savior… I am truly on fire. Who wants to listen to me talk?!

If you don’t speak out to warn the wicked to stop their evil ways, they will die in their sin. But I will hold you responsible for their death. -Ezekiel 3:18

I have to get my priorities in order. Yes, I do love to learn. Yes, I love college. Yes, I love being young and living life to the fullest. But life does not end in this world. Life’s meaning is not fulfilled until your mission is fulfilled. There is so much more to life than this, and that is one of the most exciting things I have ever came to the conclusion of. And I want others to know it,too, so that when I stand before God one day, I can say “I lived it all for you. Mission accomplished.“

God will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.- Matthew 6:33

-cnr

 

-turning from the tremendous lie of sleep

         i watch the roses of the day grow deep.

Untitled.

gone with the wind are not only your tears,
it is this world too.

love and hatred cross in the sanctury,
only in dreams can they be seen,
like the frost,
time freezes at your fingertips.

covered by ashes is not only your memory,
it is this space too.

the weaved curves by your crimson dress,
held my reluctance to let go,
yet my tears are telling farewell,
because in this moment,
time has fallen to pieces…

-Unknown

The Missing

I leave Tuesday. I am pretty sure I’ll be back one last time before school starts because I’ll most likely forget something. Then I plan to stay there for a while. I have a job there, and I really won’t have the money even then for the gas I would need to drive back and forth all of the time. I’m excited. Not so much nervous anymore. My roommates seem to be great, and we all share the same views on a lot of important issues that should be a mutual understanding when living with someone. I will miss many people here. My summer was dedicated to about three men, and now I am going to be dedicated to three women… Hm. Not much to say besides that. I’ve been talking to God a lot lately about the whole move. My trust lies in him, and I do believe he is pushing me in a new direction for a reason. So, I am pretty interested in finding out why.

As the mirror reflects the past
Reflections reveal the existing
When the glass finally shatters
We’re forced to realize The Missing

The What

I can’t say that I’m not lost and at fault
I can’t say that I don’t love the light and the dark
I can’t say that I don’t know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show You
Tonight

Nothing I say will comfort you. But you are right. I know exactly how it feels. Or doesn’t feel. Because, at that point, I honestly believe numb is an emotion.

I hurt today. I write for you.

Ink that runs dry over blank pages
As I try to write an affective state of consciousness
Only to describe What it is
What it is I keep burried so deep
What it is I have kept from you all along

Tonight The What
Will rise from its tomb

I am not.
I lie.
I am
Misplacing Sanity

-Cierra Nicole

Like the Rain

i have found what you are like
the rain,

Who feathers frightened fields
with the superior dust-of-sleep. wields

easily the pale club of the wind
and swirled justly souls of flower strike

the air in utterable coolness

deeds of green thrilling light
with thinned

newfragile yellows

lurch and.press

-in the woods
which
stutter
and

sing

And the coolness of your smile is
stirringofbirds between my arms;but
i should rather than anything
have (almost when hugeness will shut
quietly) almost,
your kiss

- ee cummings -

Lost in You

Lost in You

Your gaze, I am lost
The walls others built, You break
I fear not
Letting You in, I dream another place
A place only to escape my own apprehension beyond all belief

This is where You take me.

A flower-studded field that exhibits no end
I glide a gentle hand across the fragile tops that sway to the beat of their own music
The birds are familiar with this song
They, too, sing along with their joyous voices
A joy only known toYou and I
The fragrance of each blossom lifts each foot
A step further than I could ever accomplish on my own
I breathe deep, the field of flowers I only dream

This is where You take me.

But a dream You are not
I stand held by your strength
I clear my mind only to begin
The journey I started in the fields
I relax, this feeling I cannot shake
Here, there is no return to the life We call our own
Only the continuous serenading of the birds
And the ceaseless dancing of the picturesque blooms

I am lost in You.

-Cierra Nicole

More of You in Mine

Starting tomorrow I’ll rise
Above everything except the time
I’ve ran from you too long
I’m standing here to face it all

Show me what it’s like
To be afraid of life
I need more of you in mine
And I’ll take the fear over being alone

One last time.

-Cierra Nicole

Dream Like I Do

You wouldn’t get me.
Don’t act as if you dream like I do.
When you finally forget, let your pen know first.
Fill your mind with the letters written by you.

Don’t mind me.
You can’t stay here anymore.
My dreams don’t breathe in you.
I have found what writes the hopes you destroy.

The pen you hold.

I am settled, and bend up
Each corporal agent to this terrible feat.
Away, and mock the time with fairest show:
False face must hide what the false heart doth know.

What do you do
When you cant turn the page
Your pen is out of ink
You’re chock full of rage
Count your mistakes
And lose track at forever
No one to reach out to
They all played the game better

-G. S.